This book is a beautifully written look into the heart of God through His conversations with women in the Bible. Each of the nine chapters delve into the treatment and conversation Jesus had with different women and how these conversations can reveal the love and plan God has for women even in today's world. While some of the conversations may seem plain and not too deep, the author takes it one step further by giving a context of historical times and significance and also how we can apply that to our own lives.
As a person that likes to learn more about the history of things, this book definitely intrigued me as it opened my eyes to new perspectives on stories that I have read and heard many times before as a child and adult. It inspired me to dig deeper in my reading! The author made each conversation easy to follow and gave a comprehensive historical context that enlightens the reader to the importance of each word or action that Jesus took. I do believe that the author revealed Biblical Truth and the notes given in the back of the book lead the reader to open the Word for themselves. This could make for an interesting women's group book discussion.
(I received a complimentary copy of this book through the BookSneeze website)
Wednesday, June 19, 2013
Saturday, January 12, 2013
Surfing For God by Michael John Cusick
This book is honest, open and raw when it comes to dealing with pornography and the grips it has on men in our society today. Michael Cusick hits the nail right on the head and doesn't mince words as he talks about his own struggles in this area and how God changed him. He gets right down to business and tugs at heartstrings and the soul in laying this struggle before God and leaving the sin behind.
This book should be read by every man and woman. Ladies - if your husband isn't struggling with this issue, statistics show that you know somebody who is (a brother, uncle, father, son, pastor or friend). Men - if you struggle in this area, PLEASE read this book. If you don't, read it anyways and get a better insight on what some of your peers are going through. Pastors/counselors - keep this book on hand and give it to those you encounter that struggle with pornography. This is a very easy read and yet captivating; I didn't want to put this book down!!
(I received a complementary copy of this book through BookSneeze)
This book should be read by every man and woman. Ladies - if your husband isn't struggling with this issue, statistics show that you know somebody who is (a brother, uncle, father, son, pastor or friend). Men - if you struggle in this area, PLEASE read this book. If you don't, read it anyways and get a better insight on what some of your peers are going through. Pastors/counselors - keep this book on hand and give it to those you encounter that struggle with pornography. This is a very easy read and yet captivating; I didn't want to put this book down!!
(I received a complementary copy of this book through BookSneeze)
Thursday, August 2, 2012
The Treasure of God's Word compiled by Jack Countryman
The Treasure of God's Word - Celebrating 400 Years of the King James Bible is an interesting read giving the history of the King James version of the Bible. It is separated into sections of various verses relating to God's Kindness, God's Patience, God's Righteousness and God's Power, just to name a few. In between every few sections is a nice history lesson on the origins of the King James version.
For somebody who grew up on the New International Version and now reads other versions like, "The Message," this book gave a nice history lesson on the oldest version of one of the greatest books...the Bible. It is not a full on Bible or historical book about King James, but this small book (164 pages long) might make a great gift to somebody who likes this version or who would like to learn a little bit more about the King James Bible. The way verses are put into various categories, it also makes a nice "daily verse" book to help uplift and start your day.
I received this book free from the publisher through the BookSneeze®.com <http://BookSneeze®.com> book review bloggers program. I was not required to write a positive review. The opinions I have expressed are my own. I am disclosing this in accordance with the Federal Trade Commission’s 16 CFR, Part 255
For somebody who grew up on the New International Version and now reads other versions like, "The Message," this book gave a nice history lesson on the oldest version of one of the greatest books...the Bible. It is not a full on Bible or historical book about King James, but this small book (164 pages long) might make a great gift to somebody who likes this version or who would like to learn a little bit more about the King James Bible. The way verses are put into various categories, it also makes a nice "daily verse" book to help uplift and start your day.
I received this book free from the publisher through the BookSneeze®.com <http://BookSneeze®.com> book review bloggers program. I was not required to write a positive review. The opinions I have expressed are my own. I am disclosing this in accordance with the Federal Trade Commission’s 16 CFR, Part 255
Thursday, December 30, 2010
A world of fakes when the heart needs a jewel
Something that a friend of mine has been going through lately, has gotten me to think about things I've had to deal with myself. Some of them have happened way in the past while others somewhat recently. Of course, on this topic I believe it is an unfortunate thing that happens constantly throughout life. Sooner or later we will learn who are friends truly are.
Now, before I start getting into this blog full blown, let me make something clear. Sometimes, paths will part with people and we will lose touch. Lives become separated through miles, careers, marriages, kids, and personal growth. This does NOT mean these people were not your friends (or that you weren't their friend). Let's be realistic; we can't keep in touch with ALL of our friends for our ENTIRE lives. There ARE some friends that no matter the miles, marriage, career or kids, we keep in touch. These friends are blessings beyond blessings. These friends are truly gifts from God : pure gold in a world of brass.
With that thought aside: let me begin. Isn't it amazing how "friends" will come out of the woodwork when you appear to be a benefit to them? Make them more popular. Give them money, food, clothes or other items. Benefit the activities in which THEY are involved or help them in THEIR times of need. Some will be your "friend" because others appear to like you and they don't want to be left out of that circle. Whatever the circumstance, these "friends" scatter like leaves in the wind as soon as you quit attributing to them and their lives. You no longer give them things (be it you started to see through them or just weren't able to anymore), you are no longer involved in their activities (thus benefiting them by aiding in THEIR interests/goals), or you are no longer the "hot topic" in school/church/extra activities/etc...
You call and they don't answer. You ask them to meet you for dinner or come to a party and lame excuses pour out of their mouths. Or the worst yet - you now need them because of a tough time in your life and they just don't want to be "inconvenienced."
"What's the big deal?" you might ask. "This is a just a life lesson that is repeatedly learned throughout the years," you might say. To a certain degree you are right. With each period of our lives, each new place we move, new school we attend, or job we work there will be a sort of "weeding" process in which we will make TRUE friends and discover those that were surface. And, like I mentioned toward the beginning of this blog, sometimes our paths just naturally part and it doesn't mean our friendship wasn't real. Some people are meant to be in our lives for just a short time...enough to leave their footprint forever.
Here's where I take issue with this whole "life lesson" : it runs rampant in the church. Oh how quickly we flock to the "new" member excited that they have graced our pews. We invite them to dinners, we go to their parties (or invite them to ours), and coax them into joining any and all volunteer opportunities that flood the bulletin boards. We do this for various reasons.
1) the excitement of a new person in our midst
2) the possibility that they will contribute to our tithes and offerings thus helping the church budget (sick, but oh so true)
3) the awesome thought that they will fill an empty spot on the volunteer log
4) or we don't want to be left out of the circle that surrounds them for the above reasons
There is a small group that TRULY want to meet them, get to know them, and be their friend...even if they never volunteer, put money in the plate, or even if they leave our pews and grace another. To those of you out there...THANK YOU! Thank you from the bottom of my heart. I am grateful for the WONDERFUL examples you have been in my life. I am grateful that you have been true examples of Christ's love to strangers and friendship with people. I thank you for myself but also for those out there that bear the hurt of fake "friends."
For those that don't fall into the small group mentioned above : true colors always show after a while. When the person no longer is the "new thing," the "friends" start to fade and the unsuspecting victims find themselves sitting alone, their phone no longer rings, and invitations fade. If they don't volunteer (or volunteer enough to satisfy those around them) or their checkbook doesn't open, the "friends" start to think that maybe this new person won't benefit them after all. What happens? You guessed it...the poor unsuspecting victim is once again alone.
You REALLY want to see "friends" scatter? Try no longer attending their church!! You take a job where you have to work Sundays, you change to a different church that is closer or you go somewhere else you feel God is leading you, or (worse yet) you struggle with your faith and find it hard walking through the doors. Call the "friends" and find your calls going to voicemail. Send them texts or emails and wait for the response...for weeks (or never get a reply). Invite them to hang out with you and get lame excuses as to why they can't. Devastatingly, find out they are now gossiping behind your back as to why you no longer go there and how they think you made a huge mistake (because, you know...they know what you should do with your life and it is go where they go and do what they do).
For the strong Christian these can still be tough situations that can break the heart and make you question God as to why you should keep trying when it seems all others gave up long ago. But, what breaks my heart, is those that no longer want to deal with churches (or God) because of the disgusting representation those people gave of Christ. What part of Christ is attractive to them when those that are SUPPOSED to represent His love don't care to put effort into loving others? We wonder why our numbers are dwindling when we haven't learned to love the few still willing to come to Him!
Wake up so called followers! Quit being lazy! Quit being selfish! Get OUT of your circle and LOVE LOVE LOVE!!!! Guess what? TRUE friendship TAKES EFFORT! TRUE friendship TAKES TIME! TRUE friendship will have times of laughter and fun, but will also bring trials and tears...and true friends will BE THERE THROUGH IT ALL!!! Think of how YOU would want to be treated and have the courtesy and heart to treat others the same way. Better yet...go over and beyond how you would want to be treated. Reach out to the shunned and broken...and not just for the five minutes you had to spare. DO IT when it's really not convenient for you. KEEP GOING when tough times come. DON'T RUN when their life falls apart or they no longer make you laugh because they are facing hard times. DO NOT just leave them a voice message or text telling them you're there for them if you hear they need help or are hurting...SHOW UP ON THEIR DOORSTEP!!!! (let me be blunt here...it doesn't take two brain cells to rub together to know that somebody facing a hard time emotionally, physically or otherwise may not have the guts to admit they need help and won't return that phone call or text. But, they would LOVE to hear a knock on their door! So, for those out there that think a phone call or text is enough...I pity the one brain cell you have.) DO NOT try and see how they can "benefit" you or your organization. LOVE THEM FOR WHO THEY ARE...not what they can do. I DARE YOU. Do this and I can guarantee you that people will really start to see the love of Christ. When that happens more will COME TO CHRIST!
Dedicated to those that have been there, worn the scars of too many "fake friends" and given up. Don't give up...there ARE true friends out there. Keep weeding through the imitations and you WILL find a jewel. I pray the jewels finds you before too long. You know who you are...
Now, before I start getting into this blog full blown, let me make something clear. Sometimes, paths will part with people and we will lose touch. Lives become separated through miles, careers, marriages, kids, and personal growth. This does NOT mean these people were not your friends (or that you weren't their friend). Let's be realistic; we can't keep in touch with ALL of our friends for our ENTIRE lives. There ARE some friends that no matter the miles, marriage, career or kids, we keep in touch. These friends are blessings beyond blessings. These friends are truly gifts from God : pure gold in a world of brass.
With that thought aside: let me begin. Isn't it amazing how "friends" will come out of the woodwork when you appear to be a benefit to them? Make them more popular. Give them money, food, clothes or other items. Benefit the activities in which THEY are involved or help them in THEIR times of need. Some will be your "friend" because others appear to like you and they don't want to be left out of that circle. Whatever the circumstance, these "friends" scatter like leaves in the wind as soon as you quit attributing to them and their lives. You no longer give them things (be it you started to see through them or just weren't able to anymore), you are no longer involved in their activities (thus benefiting them by aiding in THEIR interests/goals), or you are no longer the "hot topic" in school/church/extra activities/etc...
You call and they don't answer. You ask them to meet you for dinner or come to a party and lame excuses pour out of their mouths. Or the worst yet - you now need them because of a tough time in your life and they just don't want to be "inconvenienced."
"What's the big deal?" you might ask. "This is a just a life lesson that is repeatedly learned throughout the years," you might say. To a certain degree you are right. With each period of our lives, each new place we move, new school we attend, or job we work there will be a sort of "weeding" process in which we will make TRUE friends and discover those that were surface. And, like I mentioned toward the beginning of this blog, sometimes our paths just naturally part and it doesn't mean our friendship wasn't real. Some people are meant to be in our lives for just a short time...enough to leave their footprint forever.
Here's where I take issue with this whole "life lesson" : it runs rampant in the church. Oh how quickly we flock to the "new" member excited that they have graced our pews. We invite them to dinners, we go to their parties (or invite them to ours), and coax them into joining any and all volunteer opportunities that flood the bulletin boards. We do this for various reasons.
1) the excitement of a new person in our midst
2) the possibility that they will contribute to our tithes and offerings thus helping the church budget (sick, but oh so true)
3) the awesome thought that they will fill an empty spot on the volunteer log
4) or we don't want to be left out of the circle that surrounds them for the above reasons
There is a small group that TRULY want to meet them, get to know them, and be their friend...even if they never volunteer, put money in the plate, or even if they leave our pews and grace another. To those of you out there...THANK YOU! Thank you from the bottom of my heart. I am grateful for the WONDERFUL examples you have been in my life. I am grateful that you have been true examples of Christ's love to strangers and friendship with people. I thank you for myself but also for those out there that bear the hurt of fake "friends."
For those that don't fall into the small group mentioned above : true colors always show after a while. When the person no longer is the "new thing," the "friends" start to fade and the unsuspecting victims find themselves sitting alone, their phone no longer rings, and invitations fade. If they don't volunteer (or volunteer enough to satisfy those around them) or their checkbook doesn't open, the "friends" start to think that maybe this new person won't benefit them after all. What happens? You guessed it...the poor unsuspecting victim is once again alone.
You REALLY want to see "friends" scatter? Try no longer attending their church!! You take a job where you have to work Sundays, you change to a different church that is closer or you go somewhere else you feel God is leading you, or (worse yet) you struggle with your faith and find it hard walking through the doors. Call the "friends" and find your calls going to voicemail. Send them texts or emails and wait for the response...for weeks (or never get a reply). Invite them to hang out with you and get lame excuses as to why they can't. Devastatingly, find out they are now gossiping behind your back as to why you no longer go there and how they think you made a huge mistake (because, you know...they know what you should do with your life and it is go where they go and do what they do).
For the strong Christian these can still be tough situations that can break the heart and make you question God as to why you should keep trying when it seems all others gave up long ago. But, what breaks my heart, is those that no longer want to deal with churches (or God) because of the disgusting representation those people gave of Christ. What part of Christ is attractive to them when those that are SUPPOSED to represent His love don't care to put effort into loving others? We wonder why our numbers are dwindling when we haven't learned to love the few still willing to come to Him!
Wake up so called followers! Quit being lazy! Quit being selfish! Get OUT of your circle and LOVE LOVE LOVE!!!! Guess what? TRUE friendship TAKES EFFORT! TRUE friendship TAKES TIME! TRUE friendship will have times of laughter and fun, but will also bring trials and tears...and true friends will BE THERE THROUGH IT ALL!!! Think of how YOU would want to be treated and have the courtesy and heart to treat others the same way. Better yet...go over and beyond how you would want to be treated. Reach out to the shunned and broken...and not just for the five minutes you had to spare. DO IT when it's really not convenient for you. KEEP GOING when tough times come. DON'T RUN when their life falls apart or they no longer make you laugh because they are facing hard times. DO NOT just leave them a voice message or text telling them you're there for them if you hear they need help or are hurting...SHOW UP ON THEIR DOORSTEP!!!! (let me be blunt here...it doesn't take two brain cells to rub together to know that somebody facing a hard time emotionally, physically or otherwise may not have the guts to admit they need help and won't return that phone call or text. But, they would LOVE to hear a knock on their door! So, for those out there that think a phone call or text is enough...I pity the one brain cell you have.) DO NOT try and see how they can "benefit" you or your organization. LOVE THEM FOR WHO THEY ARE...not what they can do. I DARE YOU. Do this and I can guarantee you that people will really start to see the love of Christ. When that happens more will COME TO CHRIST!
Dedicated to those that have been there, worn the scars of too many "fake friends" and given up. Don't give up...there ARE true friends out there. Keep weeding through the imitations and you WILL find a jewel. I pray the jewels finds you before too long. You know who you are...
Thursday, September 30, 2010
Book Review of : Free Book * by Brian Tome
Brian Tome hits home hard in this bold, "no corners cut" book about freedom found in Christ. He challenges believers to grasp the full freedom that can be found in Christ and to let go of their inhibitions and preconceived ideas about their faith. He steps on toes, but does so out of a love and passion that Christ has put in his life. Addressing areas such as spiritual warfare, forgiveness, community and yes...even tattoos (very briefly)...he keeps it straight forward and light-hearted.
I received a complementary copy of this book by the publisher (Thomas Nelson) through BookSneeze. It kept my attention through every page and challenged me to embrace my freedom in Christ even more so than I already had. Brian inspired me to be more bold (out of love) and to quit worrying so much about "stepping on toes" or "offending" those that might not like what I have to say. I loved the way he was willing to talk about things in his life to make it more personal versus taking the "finger pointing" approach.
I hope more people read this book, take it to heart, and start to live more freely in Christ. I think this would be a phenomenal book for a lot of pastors to read and challenge their congregation with...or just utilize more in their own lives and preachings. Read Brian Tome's "Free Book*" and open your heart to what God has for you to hear in this man's daring text!
I received a complementary copy of this book by the publisher (Thomas Nelson) through BookSneeze. It kept my attention through every page and challenged me to embrace my freedom in Christ even more so than I already had. Brian inspired me to be more bold (out of love) and to quit worrying so much about "stepping on toes" or "offending" those that might not like what I have to say. I loved the way he was willing to talk about things in his life to make it more personal versus taking the "finger pointing" approach.
I hope more people read this book, take it to heart, and start to live more freely in Christ. I think this would be a phenomenal book for a lot of pastors to read and challenge their congregation with...or just utilize more in their own lives and preachings. Read Brian Tome's "Free Book*" and open your heart to what God has for you to hear in this man's daring text!
Saturday, September 25, 2010
disappointment - let me challenge you
Something that has been on my mind for a while and especially right now, I have to just say it. I am super disappointed in the church right now...mainly "leaders." The reason I put it in quotation marks is because I have experienced more people in the leader role, but were NOT leaders. They didn't want to deal with the problems in the church, they didn't want to mend, train and send those within their flock, and there was such lack of communication that most didn't know what was up or down in their organization. I know that a lot of the desire is to win more souls for Christ, but let me ask you this : if you are "winning" more souls for Christ, but losing them left and right within your church...are you really gaining anything?! Also, after those "won" souls join your church family, who is going to minister to them after the "newness" wears off? Who is going to be there for them when the bottom falls out of their lives? Once they've accepted Christ THEN the real work begins!
Satan attacks those that he sees as a danger. Life challenges come to those that are new to the faith AND those that have been living it for 20 plus years. If your sole purpose is to "recruit" and then you leave them to starve...your work is in vain. If you let the more mature Christians face trials on their own and give them no support, love, and "follow up" then they too will either starve or find a new place to graze.
YES...we SHOULD focus on reaching out to others. YES...we DO want to share the gospel with those that haven't heard it. But sometimes we have to do the "mundane" things as "maintaining" those already in the church family. Just like a car : you HAVE to change the oil, fill it up with gas, clean it occasionally and do the tune up to keep it in good shape. Sometimes the transmission may fail, the windshield may crack or the brakes go kaput. So...fix it. What happens if you just assume : "I've got a running car, it should know how to handle the road on it's own," and so you never do maintenance or don't fix the issues when they arise? Your car dies. Plain and simple. Sure...it's MUCH more fun to spend your money on a brand new car (hey...I TOTALLY understand!). But, after a while the newness WILL wear off and you're left with "just a car" and you have the choice to fix it...or let it die and get yet another car and repeat the cycle.
A close friend of ours and a WONDERFUL pastor (and his family that we love dearly) has this saying : LOVE, MEND, TRAIN, SEND. A lot of times we want to just love the people but then not help them in the mending process. We want to skip that and go straight to the "sending." Doesn't work well that way. Also, sometimes we have to go BACK to the loving and mending because...hey...crap happens.
Thankfully, I/we have had some pretty great examples in our lives of some great leaders so I know that EVERY church is NOT like that. I also know that just because there are some that act a certain way or treat people a certain way doesn't mean that is how EVERYONE in the church is. I just worry and hurt for those that are new to the faith and happen to get those "leaders" as examples in their new walk. What happens to them when the going gets tough? What happens when they are abandoned, forgotten or shoved to the side because their "newness" wore off? I hope and pray they can get some people in their lives that will truly love them, minister to them through the rough times and be there for them through thick and thin.
Let me challenge you. If you are a person in a leadership role : STEP UP! Be there not just for the new believers, but be there for the old ones as well. Do the "maintenance" required and know that this is all part and parcel of being in a church family. If you're not willing to do it, please step aside. Ministry isn't always pretty. It takes guts, a lot of heart, a lot of faith and a lot of time. If you're not willing to put in that kind of work (or if your family isn't willing : believe me, they will sacrifice just as much as the leader themselves...so they need to be "all for it" as well), then please step aside. It doesn't mean that you can't serve in some way or another. There are always areas that need help.
I say this for myself. I say this for those I know and love who have had experiences like us. I also say it for those out there who are currently in those situations.
Satan attacks those that he sees as a danger. Life challenges come to those that are new to the faith AND those that have been living it for 20 plus years. If your sole purpose is to "recruit" and then you leave them to starve...your work is in vain. If you let the more mature Christians face trials on their own and give them no support, love, and "follow up" then they too will either starve or find a new place to graze.
YES...we SHOULD focus on reaching out to others. YES...we DO want to share the gospel with those that haven't heard it. But sometimes we have to do the "mundane" things as "maintaining" those already in the church family. Just like a car : you HAVE to change the oil, fill it up with gas, clean it occasionally and do the tune up to keep it in good shape. Sometimes the transmission may fail, the windshield may crack or the brakes go kaput. So...fix it. What happens if you just assume : "I've got a running car, it should know how to handle the road on it's own," and so you never do maintenance or don't fix the issues when they arise? Your car dies. Plain and simple. Sure...it's MUCH more fun to spend your money on a brand new car (hey...I TOTALLY understand!). But, after a while the newness WILL wear off and you're left with "just a car" and you have the choice to fix it...or let it die and get yet another car and repeat the cycle.
A close friend of ours and a WONDERFUL pastor (and his family that we love dearly) has this saying : LOVE, MEND, TRAIN, SEND. A lot of times we want to just love the people but then not help them in the mending process. We want to skip that and go straight to the "sending." Doesn't work well that way. Also, sometimes we have to go BACK to the loving and mending because...hey...crap happens.
Thankfully, I/we have had some pretty great examples in our lives of some great leaders so I know that EVERY church is NOT like that. I also know that just because there are some that act a certain way or treat people a certain way doesn't mean that is how EVERYONE in the church is. I just worry and hurt for those that are new to the faith and happen to get those "leaders" as examples in their new walk. What happens to them when the going gets tough? What happens when they are abandoned, forgotten or shoved to the side because their "newness" wore off? I hope and pray they can get some people in their lives that will truly love them, minister to them through the rough times and be there for them through thick and thin.
Let me challenge you. If you are a person in a leadership role : STEP UP! Be there not just for the new believers, but be there for the old ones as well. Do the "maintenance" required and know that this is all part and parcel of being in a church family. If you're not willing to do it, please step aside. Ministry isn't always pretty. It takes guts, a lot of heart, a lot of faith and a lot of time. If you're not willing to put in that kind of work (or if your family isn't willing : believe me, they will sacrifice just as much as the leader themselves...so they need to be "all for it" as well), then please step aside. It doesn't mean that you can't serve in some way or another. There are always areas that need help.
I say this for myself. I say this for those I know and love who have had experiences like us. I also say it for those out there who are currently in those situations.
Tuesday, April 20, 2010
thoughts about the past lead to thoughts of the future
It's official, I am off coumadin! For those that may be wondering why I was on coumadin, let me give you a brief explanation. I had a pulmonary embolism in February of 2009. At the time, we didn't know I had a blood clot and, even once we discovered what it was, we didn't realize the severity of the situation. However, once out of the hospital (I was inpatient for about 1 week), we truly began to realize how dangerous my situation was and how God's hand was truly over everything! I was moments away from dying (literally) and I believe 100% that God put His hand on that clot and kept it from moving any further. Soooo...I have been on coumadin for a little over a year and have now been given permission to quit!
I sit here over one year later and am ready to start this new chapter. Many people have asked Ben and I if we are going to have any more kids. Of course, ultimately, we know that is up to God; however, we did want to have at least one more. Now that I am off of coumadin, we are free to give Banner a sibling! We are wanting to wait until the end of this year to get a few more things in order around the house, but then...who knows?
As I think about another baby, it makes me think back on these past 30 months with Banner. He is an absolute joy to be around and he amazes me every day with his love and sweet heart. He is so friendly and just loves to love on anybody and everybody. The part that pulls at my heart strings is how innocent he is. Despite his tendencies to be a sinful human being, he still doesn't quite understand "how the world works." (which I am soooo grateful for!) It makes me smile (and yet aches my heart) when he hears another baby or kid crying and asks, "Aww...Mommy, what happened? They ok?" Melt my heart!
I believe whole heartedly that God heard and answered my prayers when I was pregnant with Banner. I remember hearing that mothers (and fathers) would pray for their children before they entered this world. I can't say I did the best job with that. I was scared. Banner was a surprise and we had a lot going on in our lives at that point. How was I going to take care of another life? How could I give love to another being when I felt unloved myself? How could I comfort a baby when I needed somebody to hold me? Oh, but how our Heavenly Father knows us! He had a plan for me TONS BETTER than I could have ever imagined! Stupid me for not having faith in Him. He told me over and over that He would be there and work it out for His glory! ("And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love Him, who have been called according to His purpose." Romans 8:28) The times I was able to muster enough strength to pray for Banner before we even knew him, I prayed that God would give him a sweet heart. Oh boy...did God deliver on that!!!
The other thing that Ben and I both prayed was that God's voice would be the loudest in Banner's life. We prayed (and still do) that Ben and I would be good stewards with what He has blessed us with, and this includes Banner. It is scary to think that we are part of the picture Banner views when he thinks of God. God is referred to as a Father and yet, if Banner does not have a good impression of his earthly father, what will he think of his Heavenly Father? We hear about Christ's love. We also hear about the undying and relentless love of a mother. However, if I don't love my child, how will he learn to trust that God DOES love him? On that note, we asked for wisdom in raising Banner up in the way that God wanted him to go. But, we know we are human. We know there will be times when our sinful nature will kick in as parents and, it is during those times, we pray that God shuts our mouths. If we are too stubborn to let God silence us, then we pray God numbs Banner's ears so that he hears only the Lord leading him.
Ohhh...just writing this down takes me back to over 3 years ago and the things going through my heart and head. How utterly terrifying to think we could bring another life into this world at some point. And, yet...how humbling...that we would be entrusted to love and care for another gift from God. Oh the possibilities! Time will tell....
I sit here over one year later and am ready to start this new chapter. Many people have asked Ben and I if we are going to have any more kids. Of course, ultimately, we know that is up to God; however, we did want to have at least one more. Now that I am off of coumadin, we are free to give Banner a sibling! We are wanting to wait until the end of this year to get a few more things in order around the house, but then...who knows?
As I think about another baby, it makes me think back on these past 30 months with Banner. He is an absolute joy to be around and he amazes me every day with his love and sweet heart. He is so friendly and just loves to love on anybody and everybody. The part that pulls at my heart strings is how innocent he is. Despite his tendencies to be a sinful human being, he still doesn't quite understand "how the world works." (which I am soooo grateful for!) It makes me smile (and yet aches my heart) when he hears another baby or kid crying and asks, "Aww...Mommy, what happened? They ok?" Melt my heart!
I believe whole heartedly that God heard and answered my prayers when I was pregnant with Banner. I remember hearing that mothers (and fathers) would pray for their children before they entered this world. I can't say I did the best job with that. I was scared. Banner was a surprise and we had a lot going on in our lives at that point. How was I going to take care of another life? How could I give love to another being when I felt unloved myself? How could I comfort a baby when I needed somebody to hold me? Oh, but how our Heavenly Father knows us! He had a plan for me TONS BETTER than I could have ever imagined! Stupid me for not having faith in Him. He told me over and over that He would be there and work it out for His glory! ("And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love Him, who have been called according to His purpose." Romans 8:28) The times I was able to muster enough strength to pray for Banner before we even knew him, I prayed that God would give him a sweet heart. Oh boy...did God deliver on that!!!
The other thing that Ben and I both prayed was that God's voice would be the loudest in Banner's life. We prayed (and still do) that Ben and I would be good stewards with what He has blessed us with, and this includes Banner. It is scary to think that we are part of the picture Banner views when he thinks of God. God is referred to as a Father and yet, if Banner does not have a good impression of his earthly father, what will he think of his Heavenly Father? We hear about Christ's love. We also hear about the undying and relentless love of a mother. However, if I don't love my child, how will he learn to trust that God DOES love him? On that note, we asked for wisdom in raising Banner up in the way that God wanted him to go. But, we know we are human. We know there will be times when our sinful nature will kick in as parents and, it is during those times, we pray that God shuts our mouths. If we are too stubborn to let God silence us, then we pray God numbs Banner's ears so that he hears only the Lord leading him.
Ohhh...just writing this down takes me back to over 3 years ago and the things going through my heart and head. How utterly terrifying to think we could bring another life into this world at some point. And, yet...how humbling...that we would be entrusted to love and care for another gift from God. Oh the possibilities! Time will tell....
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