Something that a friend of mine has been going through lately, has gotten me to think about things I've had to deal with myself. Some of them have happened way in the past while others somewhat recently. Of course, on this topic I believe it is an unfortunate thing that happens constantly throughout life. Sooner or later we will learn who are friends truly are.
Now, before I start getting into this blog full blown, let me make something clear. Sometimes, paths will part with people and we will lose touch. Lives become separated through miles, careers, marriages, kids, and personal growth. This does NOT mean these people were not your friends (or that you weren't their friend). Let's be realistic; we can't keep in touch with ALL of our friends for our ENTIRE lives. There ARE some friends that no matter the miles, marriage, career or kids, we keep in touch. These friends are blessings beyond blessings. These friends are truly gifts from God : pure gold in a world of brass.
With that thought aside: let me begin. Isn't it amazing how "friends" will come out of the woodwork when you appear to be a benefit to them? Make them more popular. Give them money, food, clothes or other items. Benefit the activities in which THEY are involved or help them in THEIR times of need. Some will be your "friend" because others appear to like you and they don't want to be left out of that circle. Whatever the circumstance, these "friends" scatter like leaves in the wind as soon as you quit attributing to them and their lives. You no longer give them things (be it you started to see through them or just weren't able to anymore), you are no longer involved in their activities (thus benefiting them by aiding in THEIR interests/goals), or you are no longer the "hot topic" in school/church/extra activities/etc...
You call and they don't answer. You ask them to meet you for dinner or come to a party and lame excuses pour out of their mouths. Or the worst yet - you now need them because of a tough time in your life and they just don't want to be "inconvenienced."
"What's the big deal?" you might ask. "This is a just a life lesson that is repeatedly learned throughout the years," you might say. To a certain degree you are right. With each period of our lives, each new place we move, new school we attend, or job we work there will be a sort of "weeding" process in which we will make TRUE friends and discover those that were surface. And, like I mentioned toward the beginning of this blog, sometimes our paths just naturally part and it doesn't mean our friendship wasn't real. Some people are meant to be in our lives for just a short time...enough to leave their footprint forever.
Here's where I take issue with this whole "life lesson" : it runs rampant in the church. Oh how quickly we flock to the "new" member excited that they have graced our pews. We invite them to dinners, we go to their parties (or invite them to ours), and coax them into joining any and all volunteer opportunities that flood the bulletin boards. We do this for various reasons.
1) the excitement of a new person in our midst
2) the possibility that they will contribute to our tithes and offerings thus helping the church budget (sick, but oh so true)
3) the awesome thought that they will fill an empty spot on the volunteer log
4) or we don't want to be left out of the circle that surrounds them for the above reasons
There is a small group that TRULY want to meet them, get to know them, and be their friend...even if they never volunteer, put money in the plate, or even if they leave our pews and grace another. To those of you out there...THANK YOU! Thank you from the bottom of my heart. I am grateful for the WONDERFUL examples you have been in my life. I am grateful that you have been true examples of Christ's love to strangers and friendship with people. I thank you for myself but also for those out there that bear the hurt of fake "friends."
For those that don't fall into the small group mentioned above : true colors always show after a while. When the person no longer is the "new thing," the "friends" start to fade and the unsuspecting victims find themselves sitting alone, their phone no longer rings, and invitations fade. If they don't volunteer (or volunteer enough to satisfy those around them) or their checkbook doesn't open, the "friends" start to think that maybe this new person won't benefit them after all. What happens? You guessed it...the poor unsuspecting victim is once again alone.
You REALLY want to see "friends" scatter? Try no longer attending their church!! You take a job where you have to work Sundays, you change to a different church that is closer or you go somewhere else you feel God is leading you, or (worse yet) you struggle with your faith and find it hard walking through the doors. Call the "friends" and find your calls going to voicemail. Send them texts or emails and wait for the response...for weeks (or never get a reply). Invite them to hang out with you and get lame excuses as to why they can't. Devastatingly, find out they are now gossiping behind your back as to why you no longer go there and how they think you made a huge mistake (because, you know...they know what you should do with your life and it is go where they go and do what they do).
For the strong Christian these can still be tough situations that can break the heart and make you question God as to why you should keep trying when it seems all others gave up long ago. But, what breaks my heart, is those that no longer want to deal with churches (or God) because of the disgusting representation those people gave of Christ. What part of Christ is attractive to them when those that are SUPPOSED to represent His love don't care to put effort into loving others? We wonder why our numbers are dwindling when we haven't learned to love the few still willing to come to Him!
Wake up so called followers! Quit being lazy! Quit being selfish! Get OUT of your circle and LOVE LOVE LOVE!!!! Guess what? TRUE friendship TAKES EFFORT! TRUE friendship TAKES TIME! TRUE friendship will have times of laughter and fun, but will also bring trials and tears...and true friends will BE THERE THROUGH IT ALL!!! Think of how YOU would want to be treated and have the courtesy and heart to treat others the same way. Better yet...go over and beyond how you would want to be treated. Reach out to the shunned and broken...and not just for the five minutes you had to spare. DO IT when it's really not convenient for you. KEEP GOING when tough times come. DON'T RUN when their life falls apart or they no longer make you laugh because they are facing hard times. DO NOT just leave them a voice message or text telling them you're there for them if you hear they need help or are hurting...SHOW UP ON THEIR DOORSTEP!!!! (let me be blunt here...it doesn't take two brain cells to rub together to know that somebody facing a hard time emotionally, physically or otherwise may not have the guts to admit they need help and won't return that phone call or text. But, they would LOVE to hear a knock on their door! So, for those out there that think a phone call or text is enough...I pity the one brain cell you have.) DO NOT try and see how they can "benefit" you or your organization. LOVE THEM FOR WHO THEY ARE...not what they can do. I DARE YOU. Do this and I can guarantee you that people will really start to see the love of Christ. When that happens more will COME TO CHRIST!
Dedicated to those that have been there, worn the scars of too many "fake friends" and given up. Don't give up...there ARE true friends out there. Keep weeding through the imitations and you WILL find a jewel. I pray the jewels finds you before too long. You know who you are...
Thursday, December 30, 2010
Thursday, September 30, 2010
Book Review of : Free Book * by Brian Tome
Brian Tome hits home hard in this bold, "no corners cut" book about freedom found in Christ. He challenges believers to grasp the full freedom that can be found in Christ and to let go of their inhibitions and preconceived ideas about their faith. He steps on toes, but does so out of a love and passion that Christ has put in his life. Addressing areas such as spiritual warfare, forgiveness, community and yes...even tattoos (very briefly)...he keeps it straight forward and light-hearted.
I received a complementary copy of this book by the publisher (Thomas Nelson) through BookSneeze. It kept my attention through every page and challenged me to embrace my freedom in Christ even more so than I already had. Brian inspired me to be more bold (out of love) and to quit worrying so much about "stepping on toes" or "offending" those that might not like what I have to say. I loved the way he was willing to talk about things in his life to make it more personal versus taking the "finger pointing" approach.
I hope more people read this book, take it to heart, and start to live more freely in Christ. I think this would be a phenomenal book for a lot of pastors to read and challenge their congregation with...or just utilize more in their own lives and preachings. Read Brian Tome's "Free Book*" and open your heart to what God has for you to hear in this man's daring text!
I received a complementary copy of this book by the publisher (Thomas Nelson) through BookSneeze. It kept my attention through every page and challenged me to embrace my freedom in Christ even more so than I already had. Brian inspired me to be more bold (out of love) and to quit worrying so much about "stepping on toes" or "offending" those that might not like what I have to say. I loved the way he was willing to talk about things in his life to make it more personal versus taking the "finger pointing" approach.
I hope more people read this book, take it to heart, and start to live more freely in Christ. I think this would be a phenomenal book for a lot of pastors to read and challenge their congregation with...or just utilize more in their own lives and preachings. Read Brian Tome's "Free Book*" and open your heart to what God has for you to hear in this man's daring text!
Saturday, September 25, 2010
disappointment - let me challenge you
Something that has been on my mind for a while and especially right now, I have to just say it. I am super disappointed in the church right now...mainly "leaders." The reason I put it in quotation marks is because I have experienced more people in the leader role, but were NOT leaders. They didn't want to deal with the problems in the church, they didn't want to mend, train and send those within their flock, and there was such lack of communication that most didn't know what was up or down in their organization. I know that a lot of the desire is to win more souls for Christ, but let me ask you this : if you are "winning" more souls for Christ, but losing them left and right within your church...are you really gaining anything?! Also, after those "won" souls join your church family, who is going to minister to them after the "newness" wears off? Who is going to be there for them when the bottom falls out of their lives? Once they've accepted Christ THEN the real work begins!
Satan attacks those that he sees as a danger. Life challenges come to those that are new to the faith AND those that have been living it for 20 plus years. If your sole purpose is to "recruit" and then you leave them to starve...your work is in vain. If you let the more mature Christians face trials on their own and give them no support, love, and "follow up" then they too will either starve or find a new place to graze.
YES...we SHOULD focus on reaching out to others. YES...we DO want to share the gospel with those that haven't heard it. But sometimes we have to do the "mundane" things as "maintaining" those already in the church family. Just like a car : you HAVE to change the oil, fill it up with gas, clean it occasionally and do the tune up to keep it in good shape. Sometimes the transmission may fail, the windshield may crack or the brakes go kaput. So...fix it. What happens if you just assume : "I've got a running car, it should know how to handle the road on it's own," and so you never do maintenance or don't fix the issues when they arise? Your car dies. Plain and simple. Sure...it's MUCH more fun to spend your money on a brand new car (hey...I TOTALLY understand!). But, after a while the newness WILL wear off and you're left with "just a car" and you have the choice to fix it...or let it die and get yet another car and repeat the cycle.
A close friend of ours and a WONDERFUL pastor (and his family that we love dearly) has this saying : LOVE, MEND, TRAIN, SEND. A lot of times we want to just love the people but then not help them in the mending process. We want to skip that and go straight to the "sending." Doesn't work well that way. Also, sometimes we have to go BACK to the loving and mending because...hey...crap happens.
Thankfully, I/we have had some pretty great examples in our lives of some great leaders so I know that EVERY church is NOT like that. I also know that just because there are some that act a certain way or treat people a certain way doesn't mean that is how EVERYONE in the church is. I just worry and hurt for those that are new to the faith and happen to get those "leaders" as examples in their new walk. What happens to them when the going gets tough? What happens when they are abandoned, forgotten or shoved to the side because their "newness" wore off? I hope and pray they can get some people in their lives that will truly love them, minister to them through the rough times and be there for them through thick and thin.
Let me challenge you. If you are a person in a leadership role : STEP UP! Be there not just for the new believers, but be there for the old ones as well. Do the "maintenance" required and know that this is all part and parcel of being in a church family. If you're not willing to do it, please step aside. Ministry isn't always pretty. It takes guts, a lot of heart, a lot of faith and a lot of time. If you're not willing to put in that kind of work (or if your family isn't willing : believe me, they will sacrifice just as much as the leader themselves...so they need to be "all for it" as well), then please step aside. It doesn't mean that you can't serve in some way or another. There are always areas that need help.
I say this for myself. I say this for those I know and love who have had experiences like us. I also say it for those out there who are currently in those situations.
Satan attacks those that he sees as a danger. Life challenges come to those that are new to the faith AND those that have been living it for 20 plus years. If your sole purpose is to "recruit" and then you leave them to starve...your work is in vain. If you let the more mature Christians face trials on their own and give them no support, love, and "follow up" then they too will either starve or find a new place to graze.
YES...we SHOULD focus on reaching out to others. YES...we DO want to share the gospel with those that haven't heard it. But sometimes we have to do the "mundane" things as "maintaining" those already in the church family. Just like a car : you HAVE to change the oil, fill it up with gas, clean it occasionally and do the tune up to keep it in good shape. Sometimes the transmission may fail, the windshield may crack or the brakes go kaput. So...fix it. What happens if you just assume : "I've got a running car, it should know how to handle the road on it's own," and so you never do maintenance or don't fix the issues when they arise? Your car dies. Plain and simple. Sure...it's MUCH more fun to spend your money on a brand new car (hey...I TOTALLY understand!). But, after a while the newness WILL wear off and you're left with "just a car" and you have the choice to fix it...or let it die and get yet another car and repeat the cycle.
A close friend of ours and a WONDERFUL pastor (and his family that we love dearly) has this saying : LOVE, MEND, TRAIN, SEND. A lot of times we want to just love the people but then not help them in the mending process. We want to skip that and go straight to the "sending." Doesn't work well that way. Also, sometimes we have to go BACK to the loving and mending because...hey...crap happens.
Thankfully, I/we have had some pretty great examples in our lives of some great leaders so I know that EVERY church is NOT like that. I also know that just because there are some that act a certain way or treat people a certain way doesn't mean that is how EVERYONE in the church is. I just worry and hurt for those that are new to the faith and happen to get those "leaders" as examples in their new walk. What happens to them when the going gets tough? What happens when they are abandoned, forgotten or shoved to the side because their "newness" wore off? I hope and pray they can get some people in their lives that will truly love them, minister to them through the rough times and be there for them through thick and thin.
Let me challenge you. If you are a person in a leadership role : STEP UP! Be there not just for the new believers, but be there for the old ones as well. Do the "maintenance" required and know that this is all part and parcel of being in a church family. If you're not willing to do it, please step aside. Ministry isn't always pretty. It takes guts, a lot of heart, a lot of faith and a lot of time. If you're not willing to put in that kind of work (or if your family isn't willing : believe me, they will sacrifice just as much as the leader themselves...so they need to be "all for it" as well), then please step aside. It doesn't mean that you can't serve in some way or another. There are always areas that need help.
I say this for myself. I say this for those I know and love who have had experiences like us. I also say it for those out there who are currently in those situations.
Tuesday, April 20, 2010
thoughts about the past lead to thoughts of the future
It's official, I am off coumadin! For those that may be wondering why I was on coumadin, let me give you a brief explanation. I had a pulmonary embolism in February of 2009. At the time, we didn't know I had a blood clot and, even once we discovered what it was, we didn't realize the severity of the situation. However, once out of the hospital (I was inpatient for about 1 week), we truly began to realize how dangerous my situation was and how God's hand was truly over everything! I was moments away from dying (literally) and I believe 100% that God put His hand on that clot and kept it from moving any further. Soooo...I have been on coumadin for a little over a year and have now been given permission to quit!
I sit here over one year later and am ready to start this new chapter. Many people have asked Ben and I if we are going to have any more kids. Of course, ultimately, we know that is up to God; however, we did want to have at least one more. Now that I am off of coumadin, we are free to give Banner a sibling! We are wanting to wait until the end of this year to get a few more things in order around the house, but then...who knows?
As I think about another baby, it makes me think back on these past 30 months with Banner. He is an absolute joy to be around and he amazes me every day with his love and sweet heart. He is so friendly and just loves to love on anybody and everybody. The part that pulls at my heart strings is how innocent he is. Despite his tendencies to be a sinful human being, he still doesn't quite understand "how the world works." (which I am soooo grateful for!) It makes me smile (and yet aches my heart) when he hears another baby or kid crying and asks, "Aww...Mommy, what happened? They ok?" Melt my heart!
I believe whole heartedly that God heard and answered my prayers when I was pregnant with Banner. I remember hearing that mothers (and fathers) would pray for their children before they entered this world. I can't say I did the best job with that. I was scared. Banner was a surprise and we had a lot going on in our lives at that point. How was I going to take care of another life? How could I give love to another being when I felt unloved myself? How could I comfort a baby when I needed somebody to hold me? Oh, but how our Heavenly Father knows us! He had a plan for me TONS BETTER than I could have ever imagined! Stupid me for not having faith in Him. He told me over and over that He would be there and work it out for His glory! ("And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love Him, who have been called according to His purpose." Romans 8:28) The times I was able to muster enough strength to pray for Banner before we even knew him, I prayed that God would give him a sweet heart. Oh boy...did God deliver on that!!!
The other thing that Ben and I both prayed was that God's voice would be the loudest in Banner's life. We prayed (and still do) that Ben and I would be good stewards with what He has blessed us with, and this includes Banner. It is scary to think that we are part of the picture Banner views when he thinks of God. God is referred to as a Father and yet, if Banner does not have a good impression of his earthly father, what will he think of his Heavenly Father? We hear about Christ's love. We also hear about the undying and relentless love of a mother. However, if I don't love my child, how will he learn to trust that God DOES love him? On that note, we asked for wisdom in raising Banner up in the way that God wanted him to go. But, we know we are human. We know there will be times when our sinful nature will kick in as parents and, it is during those times, we pray that God shuts our mouths. If we are too stubborn to let God silence us, then we pray God numbs Banner's ears so that he hears only the Lord leading him.
Ohhh...just writing this down takes me back to over 3 years ago and the things going through my heart and head. How utterly terrifying to think we could bring another life into this world at some point. And, yet...how humbling...that we would be entrusted to love and care for another gift from God. Oh the possibilities! Time will tell....
I sit here over one year later and am ready to start this new chapter. Many people have asked Ben and I if we are going to have any more kids. Of course, ultimately, we know that is up to God; however, we did want to have at least one more. Now that I am off of coumadin, we are free to give Banner a sibling! We are wanting to wait until the end of this year to get a few more things in order around the house, but then...who knows?
As I think about another baby, it makes me think back on these past 30 months with Banner. He is an absolute joy to be around and he amazes me every day with his love and sweet heart. He is so friendly and just loves to love on anybody and everybody. The part that pulls at my heart strings is how innocent he is. Despite his tendencies to be a sinful human being, he still doesn't quite understand "how the world works." (which I am soooo grateful for!) It makes me smile (and yet aches my heart) when he hears another baby or kid crying and asks, "Aww...Mommy, what happened? They ok?" Melt my heart!
I believe whole heartedly that God heard and answered my prayers when I was pregnant with Banner. I remember hearing that mothers (and fathers) would pray for their children before they entered this world. I can't say I did the best job with that. I was scared. Banner was a surprise and we had a lot going on in our lives at that point. How was I going to take care of another life? How could I give love to another being when I felt unloved myself? How could I comfort a baby when I needed somebody to hold me? Oh, but how our Heavenly Father knows us! He had a plan for me TONS BETTER than I could have ever imagined! Stupid me for not having faith in Him. He told me over and over that He would be there and work it out for His glory! ("And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love Him, who have been called according to His purpose." Romans 8:28) The times I was able to muster enough strength to pray for Banner before we even knew him, I prayed that God would give him a sweet heart. Oh boy...did God deliver on that!!!
The other thing that Ben and I both prayed was that God's voice would be the loudest in Banner's life. We prayed (and still do) that Ben and I would be good stewards with what He has blessed us with, and this includes Banner. It is scary to think that we are part of the picture Banner views when he thinks of God. God is referred to as a Father and yet, if Banner does not have a good impression of his earthly father, what will he think of his Heavenly Father? We hear about Christ's love. We also hear about the undying and relentless love of a mother. However, if I don't love my child, how will he learn to trust that God DOES love him? On that note, we asked for wisdom in raising Banner up in the way that God wanted him to go. But, we know we are human. We know there will be times when our sinful nature will kick in as parents and, it is during those times, we pray that God shuts our mouths. If we are too stubborn to let God silence us, then we pray God numbs Banner's ears so that he hears only the Lord leading him.
Ohhh...just writing this down takes me back to over 3 years ago and the things going through my heart and head. How utterly terrifying to think we could bring another life into this world at some point. And, yet...how humbling...that we would be entrusted to love and care for another gift from God. Oh the possibilities! Time will tell....
Sunday, March 14, 2010
The happenings over here
Sorry I haven't posted in a while. Things have been NUTS over here!
It is a new year and so new house projects have begun! I found a small wet bar that was pulled away from somebody's wall and got the whole thing for $25 off of Craigslist! We took out the sink, put it on a platform to make it taller, covered it in beadboard, extended the top, tiled it, painted it and...VOILA! We created ourselves a dry bar for the dining room! We also had a new light fixture put in the dining room (thanks Kris!) that I bought last year from the Habitat home store. We had an electrician come out and add more receptacles around the house (3 in the kitchen...woo hoo!!!), two outside and then he moved our washer/dryer wiring to a closet in our room. (I'll explain more on that later) Before we moved into this house, Ben (and some wonderful friends) built a walk-in closet in the master bedroom by putting up a couple of walls inside Banner's room. Well, there was no light fixture in that closet (for almost two years now) and so we had the electrician run the wires for that. Now we have LIGHT!!!! Oh...the small wonders we take for granted everyday. I also found a (practically) brand new smooth top black oven and NICE dishwasher (both Kenmore) for 1/3 of what these would have cost me brand new! Because they were on craigslist, I had to jump on them and couldn't wait. We then sold ours for 1/3 of what we paid for the new ones! YES!! These are some of the "smaller" things we've had done (or are doing ourselves) and yet they each have created a huge mess in one way or another. Those messes are all cleaned up...ahhh...orderly and clean...for now!
So, the biggest project/headache/mess? We've had plumbing issues! Any of you that have owned a home probably can share my dread/pain. There are some things that we can live with (messes, inconvenience) and some things we can live without for a while (convenience, the biggest/best "whatever," and such). However, one thing that has to be fixed and just cannot wait is PLUMBING!!!
It all started with a quiet gurgle in the pipes. This is a noise that now strikes fear into my head when I think I hear it. Not long after, it followed with backup in the sinks, toilets and showers. YUCK!!! Thankfully, we have a home warranty which would cover a snaking of the pipes and a collapsed pipe. HOWEVER, we have to have a cleanout OUTSIDE the home. Our house is so old, they only have them under the crawlspace. Great. The price to have one put in? $400 WHAT?! So, I am thinking there has to be a plumber out there somewhere who would put one in for cheaper. Where do I turn? My trusty friend : craigslist. I found a plumber right off the bat who sounded so nice and professional on the phone. He came out that day and installed one for me for $125. He's from CA and was here for his grandfather's funeral. While he was looking for a new place to live in CA, he decided to stick around here and work to keep himself from being bored. Ha!
Well, while he was down there, he was telling us of all of these "dead" pipes we had under our house that were connected to the sewer drainage, but not connected to anything currently in the house. Our house is pretty darn old, so there have been renovations in the past. People here in SC think it's ok to just leave the dead pipes and not remove them. So, when we've had backup, this nice goop was overflowing into our crawl space!!! He said that would never fly in CA (they have TONS stricter regulations there than here) and so he went ahead and removed those for me. You should have seen the nastiness (otherwise known as old, rotting pipes) he pulled out from our house! Well, I take that back, you probably DON'T want to see it.
Anyways, he also told us that we had PVC to iron to PVC to iron, etc... with our sewage lines. We had been told this when we bought the house, but hadn't fixed it yet (seeing as we were quoted money in the THOUSANDS just to fix all this). Yikes! We also discovered that the sewage lines from the back of the house were actually moving UPHILL to connect to the pipe in the ground. Why? Because some...ahem...person decided to run the plumbing line from the back bathroom SITTING ON THE GROUND instead of cutting it shorter and having it run at a slope to the street. Nice. I have since discovered that you only need to know two things to be a plumber: 1) Poo runs downhill, 2) payday is on Friday. So...from this information I have deduced that whoever did the plumbing originally in this house was NOT A PLUMBER! Or they only knew rule number 2 about being a plumber.
So, all of this going back and forth and discovering one thing after another took a few days. When Brian (the wonderful CA plumber) kept telling me all of this, all I could see were dollar signs. I asked him that if we were going to have him fix all of this, if he could go ahead and move the plumbing for the washer to a different area of the house. (another project on our list which we were not planning on doing until later this year) He said, "sure! It would actually be best to do it now so it would be a lot cleaner in your crawl space." I braced myself for the huge ticket price and mulled over in my head how I could politely tell him "no thank you...not now." I kept thinking we would just have to wait until the pipes exploded and would just hope and pray it would be covered by insurance or the warranty. However, his price tag for EVERYTHING? Around $1400!!! (this includes what we paid him for the cleanout, and he installed a hard metal pipe dryer vent for us as well) We were quoted WELL ABOVE that just to have a 5 foot portion of piping replaced!!!
The end result? We have all new sewage piping up until it goes into the ground (and it is running at an appropriate slope and not sitting on the ground), our crawlspace is TONS cleaner with a plethora of dead pipe now gone, our washer and dryer are moved (hence having the electrician go ahead and move the wires for them), we now have a cleanout, and he also fixed a leaky toilet and dripping/cracked sink pipe. Our house is also a couple HUNDRED pounds lighter after all the old iron was removed and is now replaced with PVC. (or, it was just flat out removed if it was "dead") He has been such a blessing!!! Needless to say, my nerves have been shot. At one point I told Brian that if he came into the house and saw me in the fetal position crying and rocking myself...just ignore me.
Our neighbor recently had her entire front yard torn apart due to plumbing issues of all kinds. Our pipes were working perfectly until her work was done, and now I am slightly starting to hear gurgling again! GULP!!! So, we may not be out of the woods yet, but I am trying to take it one day at a time.
On top of all this mess? Banner caught some sort of head cold almost two weeks ago. Last Saturday (the 6th) he caught what we thought was a stomach virus. Thankfully, he only had it coming out the bottom end instead of both. But, then come Thursday he spiked a 102 fever that wouldn't leave. We took him to the doctor's and were told that he had viral tonsilitis and to keep him isolated until he was fever free for at least 24 hours. Well, his fever has finally started breaking today. WHEW!! He has been such a trooper through it all. He's only whined/fussed a little bit. Poor guy!
You know what though? I have to say that God has really helped me to see things through a different light. Normally, by now, I would need to be sedated with all the mess, mishaps, and "unplanned" money spent. However, I have come to truly realize how blessed we are! Bursting poop pipes? What a privilege to have a roof over my head and to have the responsibility of being a homeowner!! On top of that, what a HUGE blessing that God has provided for us this whole time!!! No credit cards or loans, just removal from our "emergency fund." Banner getting sick? What a blessing to have a wonderful son to take care of! What a huge relief that we have been blessed with the resources to provide for him! Messes, headaches, and longer "finish times" than planned for projects? What a blessing to have a handy husband and best friend who can work with me, laugh alongside me, and cherish each hectic day knowing we are in this together...poop and all!!!
Tuesday, February 9, 2010
Blah Day
There is not one day in the year I dread and LOATHE more than Valentine's Day. For those of you that might be thinking I am just bitter, let me clear the fog. I am married to a VERY sweet and loving husband. He spoils me on a daily basis be it by sweet words, selfless actions, or tender touches. He constantly wants to buy me things (me, being the budget person has to tell him no a lot of the time). So there...I am not jealous or bitter of anybody and their relationship.
So, why do I loathe this sickening heart filled day? I firmly believe it is a day for those that have sucky relationships to celebrate one time a year. I mean, if you have a great relationship and constantly remind each other of your love and follow it with loving actions and words, why do you need one day a year to celebrate? You should celebrate your love and relationship 365 days a year!! Come on...let's be real. There is nothing special about doing something on the SAME DAY that everyone else is! It is also not special (or smart) to be paying 10 times as much for a dinner, flowers, chocolates or WHATEVER just because it is for February 14th! SERIOUSLY!!! (I know what you're thinking..."come on Randi, tell us how you REALLY feel!" ha ha)
I also think it is a sad time for those that are not in a relationship (due to loss or just lack thereof). They are reminded that they are alone and have no one to share this day. They are bombarded (as every other sucker in America) with pink and red junk, hearts, flowers and chocolate on every corner! They can't even turn on the TV without being suckered into some commercial giving them (and all the other people watching it) ideas of what to get their "special someone." UGH!!!
Let me take this time to remind them (and you) that you are NEVER alone! We are blessed with an overwhelming love from a magnificent Savior! He loves YOU and reminds you EVERY DAY (not just once a year) that HE LOVES YOU! How does He remind you? The sun comes up in the morning (ahhh heck...you WOKE UP this morning!)! Do you have a friend or family member that loves you, or that you love? That is His gift to you. Do you have a child that you adore with all your heart? That is a SMALL reminder of how much He loves each one of us! Did you happen to see a flower in the hillside or a star in the sky? Perhaps He put that there JUST FOR YOU knowing that you would look up and see His beautiful handy work!
Some of you may read this and think I am just cold hearted. I beg to differ...we all just have our own opinions (just as I realize my thoughts on this yuck filled day are my own). Thankfully, Ben finds himself to be lucky and blessed. He knows I appreciate him 365 days of the year and I don't want or need him to take some commercialized "holiday" to prove himself to me. (I put that in quotes due to me having a very hard time seeing anything holy about it in the way it is utilized today) At least, I hope he does know I love and appreciate him. If not, that is my shortfall and I need to do a better job of letting him know how much I LOVE him and appreciate everything he is! He is a bright spot in my life and I wouldn't trade him in for any other make or model of human God has put on this earth!
My blog is not meant to offend, just to give you more of a glimpse into my head (where some of you may have not wanted to venture after reading this). I felt I needed to get this out of my system as I am already SICK of the commercials, hype, and hooplah going on in preparation for this Sunday. I feel better already. If it weren't on a Sunday, I would hole myself in the house and watch war movies just to be belligerent. (yes, I know...big and firm word) So, as some of you smell your overpriced flowers, go to a crowded restaurant, or do something "special" like every other person who is taken to be a sap : please forgive me as I turn my head the other way and...upchuck.
So, why do I loathe this sickening heart filled day? I firmly believe it is a day for those that have sucky relationships to celebrate one time a year. I mean, if you have a great relationship and constantly remind each other of your love and follow it with loving actions and words, why do you need one day a year to celebrate? You should celebrate your love and relationship 365 days a year!! Come on...let's be real. There is nothing special about doing something on the SAME DAY that everyone else is! It is also not special (or smart) to be paying 10 times as much for a dinner, flowers, chocolates or WHATEVER just because it is for February 14th! SERIOUSLY!!! (I know what you're thinking..."come on Randi, tell us how you REALLY feel!" ha ha)
I also think it is a sad time for those that are not in a relationship (due to loss or just lack thereof). They are reminded that they are alone and have no one to share this day. They are bombarded (as every other sucker in America) with pink and red junk, hearts, flowers and chocolate on every corner! They can't even turn on the TV without being suckered into some commercial giving them (and all the other people watching it) ideas of what to get their "special someone." UGH!!!
Let me take this time to remind them (and you) that you are NEVER alone! We are blessed with an overwhelming love from a magnificent Savior! He loves YOU and reminds you EVERY DAY (not just once a year) that HE LOVES YOU! How does He remind you? The sun comes up in the morning (ahhh heck...you WOKE UP this morning!)! Do you have a friend or family member that loves you, or that you love? That is His gift to you. Do you have a child that you adore with all your heart? That is a SMALL reminder of how much He loves each one of us! Did you happen to see a flower in the hillside or a star in the sky? Perhaps He put that there JUST FOR YOU knowing that you would look up and see His beautiful handy work!
Some of you may read this and think I am just cold hearted. I beg to differ...we all just have our own opinions (just as I realize my thoughts on this yuck filled day are my own). Thankfully, Ben finds himself to be lucky and blessed. He knows I appreciate him 365 days of the year and I don't want or need him to take some commercialized "holiday" to prove himself to me. (I put that in quotes due to me having a very hard time seeing anything holy about it in the way it is utilized today) At least, I hope he does know I love and appreciate him. If not, that is my shortfall and I need to do a better job of letting him know how much I LOVE him and appreciate everything he is! He is a bright spot in my life and I wouldn't trade him in for any other make or model of human God has put on this earth!
My blog is not meant to offend, just to give you more of a glimpse into my head (where some of you may have not wanted to venture after reading this). I felt I needed to get this out of my system as I am already SICK of the commercials, hype, and hooplah going on in preparation for this Sunday. I feel better already. If it weren't on a Sunday, I would hole myself in the house and watch war movies just to be belligerent. (yes, I know...big and firm word) So, as some of you smell your overpriced flowers, go to a crowded restaurant, or do something "special" like every other person who is taken to be a sap : please forgive me as I turn my head the other way and...upchuck.
Thursday, January 21, 2010
My God - how great You are!
I dropped Banner off at the cousin's house this morning. He goes to BSF with them and I have started dropping him off in the morning so he can go with them and I can start work on time. I feel so badly having to wake him up in the morning, but he is always a happy camper knowing he is going to see his cousins. He sleeps through me taking off his pajamas, changing his diaper and then putting on his pants. He typically starts to wake up as I put on his shoes and/or shirt. :)
Anyways, on the way home I have a quiet car and this gives me time to think about my day, week, life, etc.. I am using this time to talk to God (I must look insane if anybody were to peer into my car window and see me talking to myself. Yes...when I talk to God I typically talk OUT LOUD). If a song comes on that begs me to sing along, I will belt it out at the top of my lungs! Ahhh...to have an audience of Christ alone. NO judge or jury. He doesn't care when I hit a wrong note, say the wrong word, or sound like the neighbor's barking dog. :)
The song "How Great is Our God" came on the radio. (I am not 100% sure that is the title of the song. I am HORRIBLE with titles/artists ; I just know a song when I hear it) I love this song! My God IS great! I think of all He has gotten me through; I think of how He has been a wonderful Father to me ; I think of how He has made sure I am always loved. My favorite part of the song? Oddly enough it is the simple line : SING WITH ME. "What?! Are you serious?! Why?!" (I can hear the questions now. Calm yourselves...I will answer that)
It is a begging call for all of those in agreement with the prior line ("How great is our God") to stand up and praise Him!! Don't let the rocks cry out because you are silent! Believe me...they will. Read Luke 19: 37-40. The disciples shouted out praises to the King of Kings. The Pharisees were NOT happy at this and told Jesus to tell His disciples to be quiet. (What?! Oh no they didn't! Yes...they did!!) Jesus replied to them : "I tell you...if they keep quiet, the stones will cry out." OH SNAP!!! How embarrassing...you mean a simple, possibly ugly rock will step up to the plate if I fail to do so? Yes.
This does not pertain only to singing (when in church, the car, or at home). This encompasses life in general. If you fail to praise Him for what He has done for you, a rock will praise Him in your place. I don't know about you, but I put my foot down and refuse to have an ugly rock stand in for me! I CHOOSE to tell people of His glory, His love, His awesomeness!
Now, please understand me. I am not saying you have to constantly be talking to people about how great He is. We don't want to be rambling idiots with no couth or discernment as to the time and place. Sometimes people need a listening ear and a quiet mouth (whew...that one is so hard). There is a time and a place for everything under the sun. But, don't forget to give Him the glory in your life. He has put His Spirit in your life to urge you in His way. I know I have felt His Spirit SOOOOO many times calling me to stand up, lift my hands, sing out...no matter who gives me dirty looks (or looks of "whoa...she's lost it!"). It is then up to me to listen to Him or let a stupid rock stand in my place.
One of the most fun (and life changing) chapels I went to at Wayland was when our speaker talked about David dancing in his ephod. (2 Samuel 6:12-15) In plain language, he told us an ephod was pretty much David's underwear. Whoa! I went to a Baptist college and he talked about David dancing in the streets, praising God in HIS UNDERWEAR!!! (now, do you understand why it was life changing? hee hee) The thing that shocked me the most? David's wife was embarrassed of him and "lectured" him later on telling David that he should be ashamed of himself behaving that way in public. (2 Samuel 6:16 and 20) (this is not what shocked me. this would be a perfectly understandable "conversation" after someone behaves this way) The shocking part is that David told Michal (his wife) that he would celebrate before the Lord...no matter how foolish he looked. Because of Michal's hardened heart toward's David's praising God, the Lord closed her womb. WHOA!!! Now THAT is a shocker!
Please don't think I am encouraging dancing around in your underwear (especially in public...these days that is punishable by law). This story is also NOT a license to do things to bring attention to yourself. That's the thing : praising Him is about HIM...NOT YOU! If your intention is to get others to say, "Look at her/him. Aren't they something? Aren't they cool? They must be holy, have a good relationship with God, etc.." Your heart is WRONG and you are NOT praising Him, but yourself!
On the flip side, if God gives you the gift of discernment, His spirit will discern motives. But it is NOT our job to judge! Some may truly be praising God (in song, in story, in actions, whatever), and some may be wanting the lime light on themselves. But, that is something between them and God. God will rebuke them if they have selfish motives. And, I believe that most will see through them. However, bottom line is this : watch your OWN heart. Don't let your heart get hardened like Michal's.
I use this story as a way to encourage you to put yourself aside and think of laying it all down to praise Him! He didn't think of Himself when He laid it all down for you on the cross. He was completely selfless. When you compare the two, praising Him should be easy! So, come on : SING WITH ME!
I hope this day finds you blessed and filled with His joy!
Anyways, on the way home I have a quiet car and this gives me time to think about my day, week, life, etc.. I am using this time to talk to God (I must look insane if anybody were to peer into my car window and see me talking to myself. Yes...when I talk to God I typically talk OUT LOUD). If a song comes on that begs me to sing along, I will belt it out at the top of my lungs! Ahhh...to have an audience of Christ alone. NO judge or jury. He doesn't care when I hit a wrong note, say the wrong word, or sound like the neighbor's barking dog. :)
The song "How Great is Our God" came on the radio. (I am not 100% sure that is the title of the song. I am HORRIBLE with titles/artists ; I just know a song when I hear it) I love this song! My God IS great! I think of all He has gotten me through; I think of how He has been a wonderful Father to me ; I think of how He has made sure I am always loved. My favorite part of the song? Oddly enough it is the simple line : SING WITH ME. "What?! Are you serious?! Why?!" (I can hear the questions now. Calm yourselves...I will answer that)
It is a begging call for all of those in agreement with the prior line ("How great is our God") to stand up and praise Him!! Don't let the rocks cry out because you are silent! Believe me...they will. Read Luke 19: 37-40. The disciples shouted out praises to the King of Kings. The Pharisees were NOT happy at this and told Jesus to tell His disciples to be quiet. (What?! Oh no they didn't! Yes...they did!!) Jesus replied to them : "I tell you...if they keep quiet, the stones will cry out." OH SNAP!!! How embarrassing...you mean a simple, possibly ugly rock will step up to the plate if I fail to do so? Yes.
This does not pertain only to singing (when in church, the car, or at home). This encompasses life in general. If you fail to praise Him for what He has done for you, a rock will praise Him in your place. I don't know about you, but I put my foot down and refuse to have an ugly rock stand in for me! I CHOOSE to tell people of His glory, His love, His awesomeness!
Now, please understand me. I am not saying you have to constantly be talking to people about how great He is. We don't want to be rambling idiots with no couth or discernment as to the time and place. Sometimes people need a listening ear and a quiet mouth (whew...that one is so hard). There is a time and a place for everything under the sun. But, don't forget to give Him the glory in your life. He has put His Spirit in your life to urge you in His way. I know I have felt His Spirit SOOOOO many times calling me to stand up, lift my hands, sing out...no matter who gives me dirty looks (or looks of "whoa...she's lost it!"). It is then up to me to listen to Him or let a stupid rock stand in my place.
One of the most fun (and life changing) chapels I went to at Wayland was when our speaker talked about David dancing in his ephod. (2 Samuel 6:12-15) In plain language, he told us an ephod was pretty much David's underwear. Whoa! I went to a Baptist college and he talked about David dancing in the streets, praising God in HIS UNDERWEAR!!! (now, do you understand why it was life changing? hee hee) The thing that shocked me the most? David's wife was embarrassed of him and "lectured" him later on telling David that he should be ashamed of himself behaving that way in public. (2 Samuel 6:16 and 20) (this is not what shocked me. this would be a perfectly understandable "conversation" after someone behaves this way) The shocking part is that David told Michal (his wife) that he would celebrate before the Lord...no matter how foolish he looked. Because of Michal's hardened heart toward's David's praising God, the Lord closed her womb. WHOA!!! Now THAT is a shocker!
Please don't think I am encouraging dancing around in your underwear (especially in public...these days that is punishable by law). This story is also NOT a license to do things to bring attention to yourself. That's the thing : praising Him is about HIM...NOT YOU! If your intention is to get others to say, "Look at her/him. Aren't they something? Aren't they cool? They must be holy, have a good relationship with God, etc.." Your heart is WRONG and you are NOT praising Him, but yourself!
On the flip side, if God gives you the gift of discernment, His spirit will discern motives. But it is NOT our job to judge! Some may truly be praising God (in song, in story, in actions, whatever), and some may be wanting the lime light on themselves. But, that is something between them and God. God will rebuke them if they have selfish motives. And, I believe that most will see through them. However, bottom line is this : watch your OWN heart. Don't let your heart get hardened like Michal's.
I use this story as a way to encourage you to put yourself aside and think of laying it all down to praise Him! He didn't think of Himself when He laid it all down for you on the cross. He was completely selfless. When you compare the two, praising Him should be easy! So, come on : SING WITH ME!
I hope this day finds you blessed and filled with His joy!
Tuesday, January 19, 2010
I did it! Watch out internet world
It's official! I am going to be a blogger! Every time I read a friend's blog, I would think "Hmmm...I want to do that. I need to write my thoughts down and keep track of my life." So, no more thinking about it...I DID IT!!
For anybody who cares to read this, I will be writing about whatever is going on in life : kiddo, hubby, work, local and national happenings, etc... I will also be writing my thoughts on subjects that come to mind. You will come to know that God has given me a mind and voice and I intend to use both.
I have never been one to blend in with the crowds or change myself to please others. Now, I am not talking about areas of sin; I know I am a sinner and I need God to forgive me daily and help me become more like Him. What I am talking about is how He made me a particular way and I have learned to bask in His glorious handiwork. He made me on purpose. He has a plan for me, He loves me in my uniqueness and who am I to change what God has designed?
To give you the quick snippet of what is currently going on in my life : Ben and I have now been married for a little over 5 years. We learn more and more each day how to love each other and support each other in our walk with Christ and our roles on this earth. We have been blessed with our surprise miracle, Banner. He is a complete joy and we wouldn't change a thing! He is a very happy and contented child. VERY easy going! I know this has nothing to do with our parenting skills (or lack thereof), but God answering my prayers from the get go. I prayed on a daily basis that he would be a joyful baby and have a sweet heart. God heard me!!
I work from home for a wonderful company and am blessed to have been able to do my job from the comfort of my chair wearing my pjs! I do work at least 40 hours a week (though in this past year I have only had a couple of weeks that I did NOT have overtime), so it is not the same as being a stay at home mom. The things that tear at my heart are when I cannot take him to a friend's house to play, or to the zoo on a beautiful day. I ache when he asks me to play in his room or sit on the couch with him and I cannot. But, I focus on the blessings of seeing him all day, every day. He has never had to go to a day care and, yet, I can still keep working and helping to provide for my family.
Ben works at UPS and has started going back to school. He is also working with a Christian catering company in the afternoons to bring in some more moolah (for projects around the house...duh!) and to keep him out of trouble. :) He is a wonderful Daddy and Banner thinks that he is the funniest thing on earth! Banner likes to "work" like Daddy with tools around the house (although sometimes this can be a bad thing : like the time Banner found Ben's saw and tried to "work" on the desk!)
We bought our first home in June of 2008. We were so excited and proud (we still are) of the blessing of a home! One time I will blog of the awesome journey of getting to that point and God's hand in it all. Our home was built around 1920 (we believe) with additions done around the 50's or 60's. Needless to say...they just don't make things like they used to. This house is SOLID! We have had a blast doing projects and Ben has shown his awesome skills doing things such as building a pantry, tiling the bathroom, building a walk-in closet in the master and oh-so much more. The best part of this home has been getting to know our neighbors. Not just on our street, but in our small, cute neighborhood. We live near some of the nicest people and have been blessed to be able to share our faith and learn that a lot of them are believers! God's hand is sovereign and we know He has placed us here for His reasons!
Well, I guess that about does it for my first post as an official blogger!!!! You will "catch up" more as I post things going on in our lives. For now, may you have a blessed day and may His peace and love shelter you!
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